42 Days of Gratitude: Day 6

Today has been a trying day. Mondays are handicapped since I start my Mondaying at 3:30am with only 6 and a half hours of sleep but Mondays are also my most productive days because I take such good care of myself to get through the day.

Today I am grateful for all of the work I have done in the past so that I can remain rational in this irrational world of human beings (this world includes me by the way, I just have well-used tools or rationality taught to me by the master Dr. Albert Ellis himself). I learned that I can practice unconditional acceptance, and enlightened self-interest to gain insight in any human interaction.

I am grateful that I know how to undermine almost any opportunity I have to get myself all upset and the fact that I know that every upset is more about me than anything or anyone else. I do this by simply telling myself that I am like all human beings flawed. This simple statement goes a long way towards forgiveness.

What to Do When a “Friend” Unfollows

In this marvelous age of the social media new words have become popular but some of these words had prior meaning. So there is a potential for confusion.

In the world of Facebook the word “Friend” has a meaning a bit closer to our offline worlds. Ostensibly we “know” the people we friend on Facebook, at least we have been introduced by someone we know and we have to approve the connection. On Twitter if you set your profile to “Public” anyone can “follow” you, which only means that they can see your posts, your tweets. I think this is what I love most about Twitter. So far it is my favorite social media tool.

On Twitter if someone follows you and you follow them back this too is called “friends”. But are they “real” friends for this reason? No that is absurd. It is abut getting to know someone. But like in the offline world of face to face it takes time to get to know people. In the offline world you don’t get smacked with an “unfollow” from someone who you have had lots of contact with but who has evidently had “enough” of you. Imagine if you got such a face to face snub! Online we have tools and we can check. I find this fascinating.

I get a daily report of new followers and who has unfollowed me the previous 24 hours. After three months I finally had someone who I had daily contact with, met in person, unfollow me. So what do I do?

Well first of all it helped to be rational and ask myself is this person really a friend? Sure we’ve had contact, lots of engagement just like we wanted from social media, but so what? I had the fortune to read a delightful article by a witty writer just as I was getting started with full-time Twitter efforts. It was all about the drama of tweeting and retweeting, constant @replies and then they are off with other “friends” and then the friend who unfollows you. Yes the drama.

Twitter is a great social melting pot; a laboratory of human nature. But with one huge difference. People are really on good behavior on Twitter. It is the kindest, most positive place I have ever experienced strangers. Someone said this was because everyone is trying to sell something, so they do all the nicey-nice stuff. Well that is just…nice!

So what to do when a “friend” unfollows. It doesn’t matter, just decide rationally. Sometimes I will unfollow since I need to disconnect from the drama; out of sight out of mind. But if the person offers value to me in their tweets, I will always checkout their profile regularly and follow their stream of consciousness. I don’t care if they follow me back, because I am learning how to FOLLOW. I follow alot of people who don’t follow me back, because I am trying to learn from them. So it really doesn’t matter if they follow me and if I want to really them I just call out their @name. People always respond to their names even if they don’t reply back.

Selected @Greetums Tweets published Nov. 29, 2009

@Greetums Tweetcloud

Words I have tweeted over the past 90days, 6,463 tweets,
in order of most used:
love thank life happy morning time dear people halloween silly help thanks thanksgiving amazing world tweet hugs book sweetums funny coffee video little read song hehe look words feel please greetums cool christmas live start doing send getting laugh friend nice lady holiday true smile sweet hope wonderful flow night dreams beautiful birthday grateful play heart tweets hilarious dream power

Make your own Tweet cloud at tweetcloud.icodeforlove.com

42 Days of Gratitude: Day 5

I am human. I am flawed and I make mistakes probably all too often. But I am grateful that I have learned that the first step is acknowledging my faults and starting with an apology. Saying those magic words “I am sorry” is one of the most important lessons I have ever learned. But I hate being wrong, hate making mistakes. Like every one and here I can celebrate my humanity and really try to learn the lessons that show up as opportunity when we make mistakes.

I am grateful that I have learned to say I am sorry when I am wrong, and that I continue to learn each and every day. The Universe always shows me that I am not without flaws and must be careful not to judge other people or things too fast. It is an amazing thing to be human.

42 Days of Gratitude: Day 4

Yesterday was a big day. I traveled down to Manhattan to meet face to face an amazing woman Tess Martin-Fox who I had met on Twitter. It was really exciting and a beautiful autumn day; full of sunshine kisses as I tooled down the Eastern seaboard in my red/black MINI Cooper.

Such an adventure. I drove down alone. We met at Cafe Angelique’s on Grove Street i the West Village; very groovy, very Manhattan. How perfect that I should get to sit-down with this lady in a coffee house. She had French press. I had a double espresso. That right there is a wonderful thing.

We talked about Twitter. We talked about the holidays, which not everyone likes the same as I do. I come complete with bells, redecked in red and green and using ornaments as jewelry. But I’m a clown, so it is to be expected. So of course I am enthralled by anyone who does not revel in the holidays. I live with a bah humbugger and in his defense he is always trying to get me to “calm down” or “cheer down”. I am loud and very rambunctious, so who can blame him. Well Tess who is such a momma, such a healer; yes as she says a “maternal nurturer”. And it was an honour to et to meet her.

So for Day 4 I was grateful for new friends. I am grateful for the friendship that Twitter has brought unexpectedly into my life. It is amazing the power that words have to attract. It was Shelly Kramer (@ShellyKramer) who said I was “feisty” and Tess who was following Shelly on Twitter saw that word and started following me and we really did hit it off like we’ve been friends since we were three years old. Really, really Best Friends Forever.

42 Days of Gratitude: Day 3

Today; the aftermath. As my body struggles to get over the abundance of sweets from the feast and the fact that I awoke with sunrise despite going to bed way past my bedtime, I struggle to find the theme of today’s gratitude.

I already had sort of an argument with Tom. First thing in the morning is not his best time and I don’t think he was awake. So the argument doesn’t count, right? Maybe today’s theme is forgiveness. I am 25% Irish and that part of me doesn’t want to forgive or forget. This is all about something I want Tom to do with me but he claims I never told him and waking him up to tell him for the first time was a mistake.

Ok even if I did tell him, maybe with his defenses down he is telling me a truth; he doesn’t wanna and this is my opportunity to give him a great gift. The communication thing has been twarted because of a new responsibility at work and although I swear I told him at least twice, it is possible I did not. So we start from the beginning; first with an apology from me. Now that will be a first!

I am grateful that I have started to learn the power of forgiveness. Human Beings are flawed and I am a human being. So I start with forgiving myself. I am just not use to all of the sugars I have consumed over the past 36 hours and yes pumpkin pie (plus the ice cream and and fudge and the cranberry sauce, not to mention a couple of cocktails) can create a hangover! Life is not always easy and I depend on Tom to help me shoulder my burdens as well as to create the special events in my life/work.

But I think he needs a good rest.

I am grateful that I have started to think outside myself, and wonder what joys I can create by accepting that Tom does not always want to do what I want him to do, and let him know that is ok with me. I know this man loves me; he adores me. And I am grateful for that fact each and every day.

This day is just starting and it started with a BANG. I’m gonna give it some time and bask in all of the wonders and joys of my life, starting with my health and strength. I am strong and I am pain free today. So I will now exercise to insure that I will be pain free tomorrow too.

42 Days of Gratitude: Day 2 Thanksgiving Day

Well this was the best Thanksgiving ever! I think it was the daily practice of gratitude, but today was my celebration of ABUNDANCE

Abundance of love. Abundance of friendship. Abundance of sweet sweet JOY. The feast was also a celebration of abundance; the joy of cooking and the joys of many many taste sensations!

I love the holidays. I love Thanksgiving. I am grateful that life is an occasion and that I celebrate LIFE every day.

Day 2 and I am grateful for the abundance in my life!

42 Days of Gratitude: Day 1

I decided that this year I was going to truly enjoy my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, by preparing for it. I have spent the past 6 days practicing giving thanks, and contemplating gratitude.

our babies

What a wonderful opportunity ths turned out to become! So, today, November 25, 2009 is day 1 of a 42 days of gratitude, and on January 6th, known to me as Little Christmas, I will have developed the habit of gratitude and I will report here daily.

Today on Day 1, I am grateful for my past; every sordid bit, every joy. My past has made today possible. So I am grateful. Thank you.

How Do I Thank Thee? Let Me Count the Ways…

Kat Caverly as Pilgrim Shirley

photo by Thomas Hudson Reeve © NoEvil productions

Thanksgiving is my favorite Favorite holiday. Why? Thanksgiving is my favorite because I give thanks and I have been doing this since I was a wee lass, and it never fails to make this holiday very special.

Just the act of making a list of everything I have to be thankful for over the past year offers such opportunity for JOY. Simply it is concentrating on the positive and the good things in our lives that rewards us with such happiness. And we all have many things to be thankful for every day. So how do we give thanks?

1. Make a list of the things you are grateful for in your life.
note: the older you are the more things will be on your list, so give yourself a few extra days for every decade over 40.

2. Send out thank you cards.

Ever since I started out as a greeting card designer I thought that the entire month of November should be devoted to giving THANK YOU cards. Whether in paper cards or handwritten notes or ecards with personal messages. Just take the time to send a special thank you to those who have made a difference in your life this year.

3. Acknowledgment. Face to Face (with hugs and kisses)

It is easy to forget how much we are grateful to the people (and other species) who live with us. Day to day living is such a mixed bag but if we focus on all of the good things we do realize that our lives are enriched by our family.

Of course I am not just talking about who we are related to by blood and who we might see at the family holidays like Thanksgiving, but those folks are pretty special to our lives too and taking the chance to acknowledge their gifts to us can really change the way the holidays feel to us. Try it.

4. Twitter

I am new to Twitter and although I have had various accounts for a few years, it was only this September that I got active on @Greetums. I had done all of the seminars on acknowledgment back in the the 1980s but it wasn’t until tweeting that I learned how powerful these simple human exchanges can be.

So write, call, tweet, or shout from the rooftops but do yourself a favor and be grateful and share your thanks giving. You will have yet another reason to be thankful.